A Quote from Goldengrove

Just finished up a meeting with my writer’s group, and it was delightful as always. I am consistently impressed with the talent of my two friends. The deathly illness continues to cloud my overall cheery outlook. If I could only stop coughing, life could finally return to normal. I miss normal. I miss the everyday. I miss September. I miss my mother.

But I was talking about inspiration, so here’s a particularly lovely quote from the beginning of Francine Prose’s Goldengrove:

My father used to say that he and I always wanted to know what everything meant, but that my mother and Margaret only cared about how it sounded.

Delicious, right? One short sentence that sets up an entire family dynamic. Reminds me of the time I stood beside my RRHB at a Tricky Woo show and told him that I loved music that went up and down and not back and forth, and he just understood what I meant.

Free Time

My brain actually physically hurts from work today. I’m uploading the majority of the content for the new corporate website and it’s a little overwhelming. So, for today, a list:

1. I ran into a casual friend on the subway this morning who told me that she’d given up writing for now. My face might have betrayed me ever-so-slightly because I think I was kind of shocked. I’ve never honestly thought of giving up writing completely and I don’t honestly know if I could. So far, my writing hasn’t made me millions but I’m not convinced I’m toiling away in obscurity either. I’ve finished the first draft of one (as yet) unpublished novel, eight or so abridged classics, published some poems, make a fairly decent freelance living so all is not dire. Yet. But writing is such a part of my daily life that I don’t know if I could ever just say, “that’s it, I’m done.” What say you other writers out there?

2. Yawn. Am so tired of the post-blog natterers out there. See above: is a measurable sense of success really the value people put on this product now? Does everything anyone does need to end up with either acclaim or riches for it to be a worthwhile investment of someone’s time?

3. Fringe. When our Faux-Vo exploded last week while we were on vacation, this was the one show that I was truly upset that it didn’t tape. And I can’t quite figure out why. I mean the beginnings are super strong; they’re sharp, intriguing and scary as fark. But the moment that the bad dialogue and the hair flipping starts I simply turn out. When Pacey said some of the doozys he was assigned this week I honestly rolled my eyes. Yet, I can’t turn away.

4. Our cat has lost his voice. Ideas?

5. A new twist on the jump around my writing room dancing: jumping around the hardwood downstairs and racing from corner to corner like I’m back in dance class. Awesome.

6. If you live in Winnipeg, go see my RRHB play tonight.

7. Tonight I have dubbed “Lipstick and Nachos.” Oh yes. Oh yes I have.

8. Has Angelina Jolie reached that Tom Hanksian stage where she’s too famous to disappear into her roles? I’m somewhat intrigued by Changling, only because I generally enjoy Clint Eastwood films (and count Unforgiven as one of my all-time fav pictures) but I’m not sure I’ll be able to forget who she is and enjoy her performance anymore.

9. We watched a crapload of television last weekend. A) Because we had been travelling for what felt like days. B) Because the Faux-Vo was totally clogged up and needed some relief somewhat akin to my gently weeping, cold-infused head. C) Because we were somewhat hungover by our second wedding in two weeks (both were totally fun events BTW) and D) Because sometimes it’s fun to eat chips, watch bad TV and complain about it. Some observations: Dexter pretty much sucks this year; Mad Men has finally come to show some signs of life, I loved this week’s episode; True Blood still isn’t doing anything for me (hot vampire sex aside); and I kind of like where Entourage is headed, maybe something will finally change?

9.5. Okay, I know it’s totally double-u-to-the-rong to ill-eagle-ly dump down pirated episodes of Friday Night Lights but I just. Can’t. Help. It. Last week’s episode made my teeth hurt it was so good. Coach. Oh, Coach. That’s all I’m going to say.

10. With only one outstanding freelance assignment, it seems I no longer have any excuse not to work on my novel. Wish me luck.

#61 – American Pastoral

Sometimes I really resent the 1001 Books to Read Before You Die list. Like when you slog through umpteen pages of books like Philip Roth’s bloated and self-indulgent masterpiece American Pastoral. I’m honestly shocked that a book that so clearly needed an editor won the Pulitzer Prize. I liken Roth’s writing in ways to Canadian David Adams Richards, who remains highly regarded by many people in the literary world (and is ever-acclaimed and never-endingly nominated). It’s just not the book for me. Honestly, I’m barely surprised that I finished.

In theory, and at the beginning of my reading experience, I couldn’t put the book down. I was fascinated by Seymour “The Swede” Levov, the golden-blond, all-American, football-playing, Riggins-reminding main character. The novel does an excellent job of exploring how his Jewish roots somewhat sit in opposition to his golden boy lifestyle thus setting up this ideal of the American pastoral. In a world where a man, who has worked incredibly hard (he took over his father’s glove business) and married a woman he adores (and is a beautiful Irish-American beauty queen), can’t even succeed, what hope is there for the rest of us? The Swede’s more than a character: he’s an archetype, one that Roth’s narrator, the bachelor-slash-writer Nathan “Skip” Zuckerman explores in tireless detail.

After a chance meeting at a baseball game when they’re both well advanced into middle age, The Swede approaches Skip and asks if he’d like to write a book about his father, Lou Levov. This becomes the premise behind telling the Swede’s story. And then retelling it. And then retelling it a little more. And then a little more. Like a record that skips, the book plods along in ceaseless and sometimes utterly unnecessary detail about every aspect of the Swede’s life, his relationship with his first wife, Dawn, and their troublesome daughter, Merry.

When Merry’s (as described on the jacket) “savage act of political terrorism” destroys the family, much of the novel is dedicated to trying to understand the reasons behind why she did it. The breakdown of the family is never explored in detail, only hinted at, as we discover at the beginning of the book that the Swede has remarried and has three teenage sons. For the majority of the novel, he tries to keep his life on course despite it’s consistent derailing. As the nature of tragedy in and of itself is cyclical, I can see why Roth spent so much time writing around and around the events; but it took a sheer force of will for me to finish this book.

I am not, however, giving up. Anyone who can write sentences like Roth deserves a second chance:

Marcia was all talk — always had been: senseless, ostentatious talk, words with the sole purpose of scandalously exhibiting themselves, uncompromising, quarrelsome words expressing little more than Marcia’s intellectual vanity and her odd belief that all her posturing added up to an independent mind.

I started The Plot Against America this morning and am already enjoying it. Also, let’s make note that I read the majority of this book during my own tedious and utterly frustrating moments: waiting for the doctor; waiting for the ferry; riding on the ferry; sitting in the car and waiting for the ferry…and so on. Maybe that had something to do with my frustration?

READING CHALLENGES: Yes! A title in my woefully underrepresented 1001 Books Challenge and if I were actually still doing the Around the World in 52 Books I might have counted this title for the United States.

PHOTO IN CONTEXT: The book. My lap. The ferry. Boredom.

#60 – Whetstone

As life returns to its normal cadence and rhythm of work and sleep and TV and work and sleep and TV, I managed to finish Lorna Crozier’s lovely book of poetry, Whetstone. I had taken the volume with me to read in Tofino but was still struggling through American Pastoral (more tk on that). So I went back to my poetry in transit and started the book on the Friday I returned to work.

Crozier’s poems have their roots in the natural world and are almost conversations over the course of a life. Some of them are meditations on a life in the process of being lived (like “Autobiography: Birth” that opens the book). And some are lovely pieces of almost Romantic-like poetry that express an almost whimsical yet utterly grounded adoration for the natural world (“Winter Birches”). Overall, my favourite poems in the collection were the three all with the same title, “Drought” sprinkled throughout the book. The first begins, “Water is suddenly old. / It feels stiffness, / a lessoning deep down.”

I found this idea, this image, of water growing old with whiskers and wrinkles and weathered utterly fascinating. I couldn’t help but think about our whale. About how my RRHB said that it’s no wonder he/she came up to see us at the side of the boat because they must swim to some of the loneliest places on earth. Some of the places where even the water, the ocean itself, must feel old and aching. As each takes the idea of drought in a different direction, the opposing wetness of it, the ache for that same wet, and the dusty, dirt-hemmed skirtness of it, the poems are nice compliments to one another.

Even if Crozier’s language remains simple and straightforward throughout, her thoughts, her comparisons and her poet’s eye is complex, and more often than not, I went back to re-read many of the pieces, underlining phrases that caught my breath and left me alone with my own thoughts.

READING CHALLENGES: Listed as #10 in my “For the Ladies” 2008 Canadian Book Challenge, finishing Whetstone brings me up to #5!

#59 – One Fifth Avenue

“Pleasantly surprised.”

I know. Two words I never thought I’d use when it came to a book by Candace Bushnell. But, um, One Fifth Avenue is good. It’s entertaining, well written and quite a departure from her earlier books. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that in a way it’s kind of a modern comedy of manners. There are hints of bawdy Restoration literature and even a dash of Edith Wharton thrown in for good measure sprinkled in between the Vanity Fair-like plot that revolves around the very wealthy (and quite silly) people that live at One Fifth Avenue in Manhattan.

When actress Schiffer Diamond returns to One Fifth after a substantial absence, quite a few things have changed. Most importantly, the ridiculously wealthy woman (and I can’t remember her name and left my book in Tofino) who occupied the top two floors of the building has died and her apartment is up for grabs. The infighting begins between the remaining residents: Enid Merle, an aging gossip columnist, Philip Oakland, her screenwriter nephew, and Mindy and James Gooch, an online director and an author, respectively. The rivalry continues even as the new tenants, the newly rich Annalisa and Paul Rice, move into the building and cause problems of their own. Completing the cast of characters is Billy Litchfield and Lola Fabrikant, outsiders who both want in for different reasons.

In the kind of New York world where address means everything, the people who live in One Fifth exemplify the idiocy of a certain kind of lifestyle. Bushnell’s ability to be cutting comes out freely in this book — the characters are all double-sided. Of course, they do have amazing lives, but they aren’t without their own flaws, making them at least human in this novel (unlike, say, the women of Lipstick Jungle). Strange, and maybe it was the wicked cold I’ve now caught after just finishing (barely) with the stupid bronchitis, that I enjoyed this book for reasons well beyond the usual insipid happiness I feel after reading chicklit. Kudos to Candace.

Oh, What A Day

After a ridiculously frustrating day taking two ferries yesterday, our karma was restored and was actually somewhat glorious. Yesterday: rain and misery. Today: sun and happiness.

We set off, as my bro said, on ferry time this morning (40 minutes late) and charted our way to Tofino. Even before breakfast we hiked (walked) through Cathedral Grove and looked an old growth forest. Snapped a million pictures and then got back in the car. Stopped in Port Alberni for some strip mall diner breakfast and then drove past some truly exquisite scenery.

When we arrived in Tofino the sun had just warmed up the coast. We wandered the beach after checking into our amazing hotel. Toss of the coin meant we opted for whale watching instead of surfing (my sick chest really decided for us) and we hopped back in the car to set off for town. Five minutes to spare and the three last spots meant we landed on the whale watching 3 PM tour.

What riches. Two killer whales, a harbour seal and four grey whales. Now here comes the mind blowing part: the whale came right beside the boat so close my brother touched him and I took some amazing photos.

The whale was bigger than the boat.

But it almost seemed that he (or she) wanted to be touched. The gentle way it brushed the boat could not have been any more amazing. I don’t even have words. Saw some cool birds I’d like to identify and we got back windswept and awestruck.

we ate an incredible dinner at Shelter restaurant in town and I have just climbed out of a bath dusted with Aveda products. Being any more relaxed could not be possible. There’s a fire and the ocean just outside my window.

And I have run out of adjectives, so I think I’ll sign off until tomorrow. Today could not sit in any more opposition to yesterday. Vacation has arrived. I just wish I wasn’t sick.

Waiting In Vain

My brother, husband and I are sitting in a huge line of cars on the Sunshine Coast trying to get on to a ferry. It’s going to be a long day. We haven’t even really started our journey. We’re trying to end up in Parksville at my aunt and uncle’s, but it seems we may be in transit and sitting in a rental car for many, many hours.

The wedding was lovely. The bride beautiful. The groom dashing. The service respectful and moving. The meal delicious. The setting quite spectacular and meaningful for the bride’s family.

Tomorrow we’re heading (fingers crossed) to Tofino, and then home on Thursday. I have been felled again by illness but I did my best not to cough my way on the dance floor last night.

One of my favourite parts of the night was when my RRHB danced with me to The Clash and my brother said we looked like Uma Thurman and John Travolta, and he wasn’t even being sarcastic.

And still we wait. If we’re lucky, we’ll get on the 4:30 PM ferry. If not, the 6:30 PM.

Oh, the joys of travelling.

Good GRIEF

I had perhaps a little TOO much to drink tonight. There’s a reason why I never do that, I think, but I can’t really remember.

But, on the whole, I feel better. I can’t see to type my name, but drunk blogging is way better than drunk anything else, right? I feel a little bit more like myself. Maybe just a touch.

I also feel like things are going to be okay. Everything might be shit right now but it won’t always be that way. People love me. I love people. The rest is inconsequential.

My RRHB is in Fredericton tonight. Fingers crossed he has a rocking show.

OH, and the peeps at the table next to us were speaking Czech. That’s cool. And (this is for Tina) when I said kif-kif to the cab driver he told me I must know someone Arabic. And then he called me sister. A lot. A proper ending to a very fitting evening.

Now, I must watch the rest of The Office.