#28 – Under the Skin

The closest book I can compare Michel Faber’s truly creepy, utterly addictive novel Under the Skin to would be Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go. I’ve been classifying it as speculative fiction, a book that takes place in a world that looks very much like our own, but slowly reveals itself to be very, very different. Isserley spends her days hunched behind the wheel of a slowly-breaking down vehicle trolling for hitchhikers along the A9 highway in Scotland. Her world is skewed, not only from the giant glasses she wears, but also because of her strange occupation. Little spears in the seat of the car sedate the hitchers once she’s determined whether or not they’ll be missed, and their bodies transported back to a farm where others of her race wait to process the “vodsels.”

Slowly over the course of the narrative you learn that Isserley, although she refers to herself as a human being, is quite different from the rest of us who define ourselves by that term. Her body mutilated so she can appear as close to normal in the “vodsel” world atop the earth, she’s in constant pain and her job takes its toll. I don’t want to give away too much of the plot because Faber’s ability to unwind the story over the course of the novel remains its strength. The further along you get, the further you realize how troubled Isserley is — both physically and psychologically.

The only other book by Faber that I’ve read is The Crimson Petal and the White, which, to this day, remains one of the most frustrating reads I’ve ever suffered through. The book sprawled all over the place, tumbled along for almost 1,000 pages (or at least it felt that way), and never came to a satisfying conclusion. The exact opposite is true of Under the Skin. The narrative is crisp and almost cinematic, you feel your own legs cramp as Isserley spends yet another day behind the wheel trolling for her victims. You shake your head as they get in the car. You feel even worse after the book finally reveals exactly what happens to them once they decend into the depths of the world underneath the farm.

To say this book wasn’t what I was expecting would be an understatement. And it’s it just wonderful when that happens?

READING CHALLENGES: Under the Skin is on the 1001 Books list, so it’ll count towards that challenge, and Michel Faber was born in The Hague, The Netherlands, so that’s one for Around the World in 52 Books too.

TRH Update: A List

How do weeks go by and have I zero time to update this space? Not having a computer complicates things because it means that I can’t sit down after dinner and write a quick post, and squeezing anything other than work into day to day life seems almost impossible. Here’s where I am lately:

1. Saw the kidney doctor lat week and he said two things: one, I have excellent blood pressure and considering I have barely exercised in the last six months, that was a relief; two, because there’s so much extra protein in my pee (gross, I know), I might have to take more medicine to stop it from mowing through my organs and causing even more damage.

2. One should never get organized for one’s taxes in January. One will lose half of the things one is supposed to bring with her to the accountant and then forget the rest. What does this mean? Going through all the receipts again to see what’s missing.

3. Our house is coming along swimmingly. My RRHB has built a deck off the back where a gross, disgusting, rotting mudroom used to be and I am spending every spare moment outside. Last Saturday I got up early (he was working out of the house) and spent every minute from about 8 AM until 1 PM in the garden and on the deck. Fresh air truly revitalizes.

4. Pigeon by Karen Solie is one of the best books of poetry I’ve read in ages. Her poems inspire a sense of wanderlust that I forced us to indulge in when we made a day trip to Point Pelee two weekends ago. Pictures are here. This would be book #26 for the year. I’m sorry the review is so short. But just know it’s the perfect book to read in the spring and her observations about how the modern world interacts with nature made my heart skip a beat.

5. I’ve also finished reading Paulo Coelho’s Veronika Decides to Die (#27). The tale of a young girl who tries to kill herself only to discover that life can be redeemed at any moment was…okay. Certainly not my favourite of all of Coelho’s books that I’ve read, but I enjoyed thinking about how Buffy would play the lead in the film and how they’d adapt it for the big screen. The love story is sweet and he writes about mental illness with an alarming accuracy — it’s no One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, but more of an exploration of how creative minds are sometimes forced into difficult situations when the normal limits of society cannot bind them. Maybe the idea of redemption was a little too obvious throughout the book for my tastes. But it’s apparently Coelho’s most autobiographical book, and the P.S. section at the back of my copy was fascinating to read in term of his own experiences with mental hospitals and the barbaric treatments he himself suffered. Also, this book is on the 1001 Books list, so I can add on to that challenge, which is good. I’m so far behind in my reading it’s actually shocking.

6. I’m halfway through Francine Prose’s amazing biography about Anne Frank. It’s coming out next fall so more on that later. As well, I finished what might be my favourite novel I’ve read so far this year, Brooklyn by Colm Toibin, but I want to write a proper post about it, so, again, more to come on that title too.

7. The week before I saw the kidney doctor, I also saw my family doctor about a world of issues. Mainly the fact that I haven’t felt like myself in months, the grumps have taken over, and maybe the prednisone crazies have stuck around in ways that they haven’t in over 10 years. That’s been part of my radio silence too — who wants to read about my sadness over and over again? There are far better things to do. Right now I’m just figuring my way out. See #8.

8. The garden. Wow, who would have ever thought that I would become a gardener. But there’s something magical about planting seeds and watching them sprout. Last year I tackled vegetables and this year I planted some flowers (none of which have started to grow beyond seedlings yet). I like to plant things with a purpose so a lot of them are either edible or have beneficial properties for birds, bugs and butterflies. More pictures to come. But what I do know is that taking a half-hour, an hour, fifteen minutes and spending it outside after a long day has made all the difference.

9. All of the meds have combined to make me more tired than I ever thought possible. The more I push through the exhaustion, the better I seem to feel, but I’m also irritable, grumpy, short-tempered and so fuzzy-headed that I can barely put a to-do list together. Anyone have any suggestions?

10. I’ve been obsessively using Purell these days. Not just because of the Swine Flu hysteria but more because I’ve picked up every single little bug that’s gone around. There were about six weekends in a row where I was either running a fever, barfing (that was a pleasant one), coughing, more coughing, wheezing and/or feeling stuffy-headed from various viruses.

11. Marley and Me is quite possibly the most boring film I’ve ever watched. Next to The Watchmen, where I fell asleep, in the theatre, right before the sex scene. Wow, that was a shocker to open up your eyes too. Also, Jennifer Aniston is orange. Throughout the entire picture.

Okay that it’s it — /babbling.

TRH Movie – 17 Again

(Please forgive me. I am typing on my BB because our computer is down. I’ll fix spelling and grammar tomorrow!)

Yes, it’s formulaic. Yes, I am about 15 (okay, maybe 20) years older than the target demograpic. Yes, it stars Zac Efron. But I was totally charmed by 17 Again.

The film, which sends Mike O’Donnell back to high school after he finds himself alienated by his kids and on the verge of divorce, had me laughing out loud more than I care to admit. The story — a little bit Back to the Future crossed with a little bit of 13 Going on 30 — is about redemption and second chances. It’s heartwarming and kind, and simple. These days I seem to crave simple, innocent stories, maybe because they’re so refeshingly honest and unpretentious. Who knows.

Matthew Perry (whose hair, so like Jason Priestly’s (sp), has remained unchanged since I was in high school) plays Mike the Elder; Zac Efron plays Mike aka Mark before and after the school custodian casts the magic spell that sends him back. The usual teenage problems plague Mark, which, of course, lends itself to the comedy. The sweet centre of the story remains how Mike/Mark changes to save the life that he was almost about to lose.

Zac Efron surprised me. And I’ll watch Matthew Perry in everything. Leslie Mann was great as Scarlet, Mike’s high school sweetheart and almost ex-wife. Annnywaay, it’s been ages since I’d been to the movies to see something fun and frivolous, and I’ll take the teasing for seeing 17 Again. I’m a big girl.

#21 – The Omnivore’s Dilemma (Also #s 22, 23, 24 & 25)

Somehow, I feel like starting off this post being hyper-critical of myself: I should really be blogging more. I should keep writing even though I don’t feel like it. I should do a lot of things. I know that Michael Pollan isn’t purely being self aware with The Omnivore’s Dilemma, but the introspective elements mixed in with his philosophical discussion of ‘a natural history in four meals’ definitely makes you think. The book hums along like any good documentary should — it’s rich in investigative journalism, full of interesting points of view about the current state of the food industry, and never fails to try and observe a situation from every angle possible.

Broken into three sections (although subtitled ‘four’ meals), Industrial, Pastoral and Personal, The Omnivore’s Dilemma unearths many real and even some invented debate (his whole rationale for eating meat in the third section I found a little hard to stomach) behind how food is brought to the table. The first section of the book, where Pollan discusses and takes apart the industrial food chain, straight from a fast-food meal eaten in the car to the fact that by-products of corn are in just about every processed item in a grocery store, was utterly captivating. One part Fast Food Nation, another part 100-Mile Diet (which I haven’t read all of yet), the sheer force by which farms have become industrialized combined with the unknown and ever-reaching ramifications made me hunger even more for the weather to heat up so I could get seeds in the ground for vegetables.

I also found Pastoral, where Pollan visits and works on a farm that lets animals be animals by having developed a very real, yet still domesticated (is that the right word?) ecosystem that not only feeds the people who live there, but also supplies many restaurants and customers in the area with fresh meat and vegetables, compelling. Never doubting the value of farmers, especially ones practicing organic and more ethical ways of reaping value from the land, The Omnivore’s Dilemma points out dramatic differences between industrial farms and smaller, independent outfits.

The third section, as I mentioned above, lagged for me — probably because, while notable, the idea of hunting and gathering my own food (that which I have not cultivated in my backyard), honestly has me stumped. I couldn’t imagine heading out into the woods with a rifle and shooting a wild pig. Yet, I can understand why Pollan felt it necessary, especially with the level of scholarship around which he answers the question: “What should we have for dinner?” Also, I really hate mushrooms. Perhaps this isn’t something I should hold against the book.

All in all, I spent much of Easter weekend reading this book. I had to pause for a moment because we had our Fall 2009 sales conference (for which I read two of the best fiction titles I’ve read in a long, long time: Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann and The Financial Lives of Poets by Jess Walter, #s 22 & 23; and one truly fantastic YA novel called The Amanda Project, #24) and there was much reading to be done (and shared), but managed to get right back into it once we were through last Friday. There is no way that I will ever think of corn in the same way again. There is no way I’ll think of tofu in the same way again. There is no way, in fact, that I’ll think of dinner in the same way again, if I’m being honest. And isn’t that a most powerful thing for a book to do — take a mundane and utterly human aspect of one’s life and turn it inside out.

Annnywaay. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been under the weather, mentally, physically, but I’ve managed to keep the garden going (loads of flower seedlings coming up; everything that needed to be planted before the last frost is in), and keep my head above the metaphorical water enough to still read. Writing, however, still remains a challenge.

Oh, and #25? I finished up Marjorie Harris’s delightful Ecological Gardening and learned many, many good tips. Not the least of which was a) that I shouldn’t be watering at night (oops!), b) that I should really figure out a way to compost and c) that companion planting (nasturtiums here I come!) is really my friend.

READING CHALLENGES: I’m adding The Omnivore’s Dilemma (which is actually the only book I’ve completed) to The Better You Read, The Better You Get Challenge. One down, nine to go. It’s going to be a long year of self-improvement, I think.

WHAT’S UP NEXT: I’m halfway through Coelho’s Veronika Decides to Die (Buffy is playing the lead in the film adaptation; I’m excited to see what she does with it, although I’m finding it hard to imagine how they crafted dialogue out of the author’s heady narrative).

#20 – Truth and Beauty

Already a fan of Ann Patchett, I knew I would probably enjoy her memoir, Truth and Beauty. When my friend Emma at work told me, no, insisted that I read it, I ordered up a copy and started it on the ride home from work last Friday. Um, I finished the book at about 10 AM on Saturday. Patchett, who befriends a gregarious, infamous girl from her college, Lucy Grealy, while both attend the infamous Iowa Writer’s Workshop, writes about their “epic” (as the front cover blurbs) relationship.

Lucy Grealy, whose memoir, An Autobiography of a Face, propelled her to literary stardom before she succumbed to the lasting tragedy of a childhood illness, which resulted in thirty-eight surgeries, a lifetime of pain (literal and psychological), and a terrible drug addiction. People were simply attracted to Lucy — they all knew who she was, and she gathered up friends and acquaintances, and filled up her world with them. Even though a rare form of Ewing’s sarcoma left her face permanently altered, Lucy pushed on through life, scars showing inwardly and outwardly. While tragic, the point of the book, from my perspective anyway, was to truly exhalt the idea of friendship, how in some cases it simply pulls someone into your life forever.

While both writers struggle to start their careers at the beginning of the book, Truth and Beauty also narrates their successes. For Patchett, it came upon the publication of her fourth novel, Bel Canto; for Grealy’s, it arrived suddenly with her memoir (and not from her poetry, per se). The two women support each other, derive inspiration from one another, and work extremely hard for many of the same goals (fellowships, etc.).

The most affecting part of the book for me, obviously, was Lucy’s struggle with illness (I haven’t read her book, by the way). There was a point in the memoir when Ann Patchett described how Lucy felt toward people suffering from disease with no outward symptoms, how unfair and/or angry (and I’m paraphrasing) this made her. In a way, I could relate — the Wegener’s has scarred my face (acne from the meds), bloats my features (prednisone), lost me a hip, and caused up and down weight gain (as has, um, age and inactivity!). But in another way, I could see what she was saying as well, that to walk around with a very physical reminder of how a disease had effectively ruined your face is quite different from dealing with some pimples and a few pounds.

Yet, I can’t help thinking it was a little unfair (and perhaps I’m taking it a little too personally) to judge the amount of someone’s suffering simply by outward scars of their disease. The Wegener’s attacks my insides, makes me exhausted, puts me in fear for my organs, has ruined my lungs, and all kinds of other internal things that can’t be seen. And I live with it every day. It’s amazing, at times, to think that your body has the power to kill you when every ounce of your flesh has evolved to survive. There’s a psychological struggle with disease that’s there regardless of whether one has scars on the inside or out — I suppose that’s where I kind of determined there was a selfish streak to Patchett’s dear friend.

Annnywaaay. Truth and Beauty is well worth the read. It’s a good book to buy for your best friend just to send along to say, “I love you this much.” To say, “if you had lost everything I would send you kitchen appliances and JCrew t-shirts too.” To say, “this book says it so much better than I ever could.”

#19 – Somewhere Towards the End

Diana Athill‘s inspiring memoir about old age was like a balm these past few days. Tears, anger, emotional eruption, and the fine realization that the prednisone crazies have probably conquered all my good thoughts (despite almost being off the drug), all combined to leave me feeling quite exhausted. Luckily, then, I had this slight memoir to keep me occupied. Athill, who worked in publishing until she retired at age 75 (I don’t know how she did it), has written brilliant little book in Somewhere Towards the End.

Narratively, the memoir has echoes of Jean Rhys (who was a friend), Joan Didion, and a touch of Isak Dinesen, and it’s sharp, unwavering voice remains focussed and clearly meditative throughout. The book opens with a number of clearly practical observations about age, moves through more traditional memoir-type content (the life and death of her sex life; the important men in her life), and then passes quickly over the idea of regret. Independent and fiercely individual, Athill’s words are nothing but inspiring. There are sentences, paragraphs, entire sections to be marked as one reads, which gives one pause to examine one’s own life. To imagine the spec of dust one’s own ninety-odd years will have left on humanity as a whole.

The parts that I liked best were about death and dying — the business of it, as such, and how lucky Athill has been in all of her years not to experience too much of it. The idea of luck persists throughout the book and it’s not as if Athill is bragging, her stoic, almost upright British self would never stand for such, no, she’s simply stating a fact. To have lived her life as she has done meant that she was both incredibly lucky and incredibly hard working. Some advice: avoid television, read a lot, take up gardening, never worry if your life falls somewhat outside of the norm, and experience life moment by moment if you can, taking pleasure out of what brings you happiness.

Now, my fingers are sore to the bone, and my arms and legs ache from lugging pounds of soil, so I am going to sign off by saying prestigious awards or not (the memoir won the Costa Biography Award in 2008), I adored every single inch of this little gem of a book.

Word Power

I am about to head out into the garden to start giving our soil a lift. I’ve been reading Diana Athill’s excellent memoir, Somewhere Towards the End, all morning and wanted to share this:

Getting one’s hands into the earth, spreading roots, making a plant comfortable — it is a totally absorbing occupation, like painting or writing, so that you become what you are doing and are given a wonderful release from consciousness of self.

Considering I haven’t felt much like myself lately, maybe some time outside will give my mind a chance to make its way back. Last night, as I was lying on the couch watching television for the 100th day in a row, I decided I’ve lost my self-confidence. But I suppose that’s what trauma does, takes away the delicate balance between putting yourself out into the world and keeping yourself tied up tight, safe. My mother died in September. And it wasn’t an easy death. Like Athill says, she’s been spared the difficulty of death among her family members, quite a feat considering she’s in her 90s now. I envy her. But mainly I’m thankful for this wonderful little book she’s written that seems to be helping me today.

I’ve started a year-long countdown to what I think I might call The Year of Living Royalty. We’ll see how it goes.

Coming Up For Air

Life in general has conspired to keep me away from writing these past few weeks. I’ve spent so much time at a keyboard, both at work and then doing freelance, that working for myself was a chore I just couldn’t add to the list. In fact, all I’ve been doing is writing lists that I never seem to finish, items that never seem to get crossed off, organizational tricks that never seem to actually work. So, of course, it’s no surprise that I’ve ended up with a terrible cough just as spring decides to poke itself up out of my garden in the form of tulips.

We’ve been couch hunting. It’s taken weeks. But at last we ordered both the main stage and a love seat on Saturday morning. I think we’ve been to every single furniture store in the GTA over the past few weeks. The good news is that the deed is finally done and even though we’re incurring costs to have our own fabric put on the couch, at least it’s what we want. The house is looking so wonderful that it’s hard to believe that it’s ours — and it’ll seem like a dream come true when we’re actually living downstairs and enjoying all of my RRHB’s hard work over the last few years.

Annnywaay. I can’t seem to finish anything these days. Not a book. Not a project (have you been within earshot of me complaining?). Not a single damn thing. The foggy-headed disease blues are hovering and just knowing that I’ll soon be off the prednisone isn’t enough to keep me going. Hard work, hard graft, seems all I’m capable of — and it’s a little disappointing to realize that people all around you don’t actually see you for who you are. Someone described me as a “work horse” the other day, and I don’t know why it caught me in the wrong way. I’ve always been a hard worker but right now I just don’t see the point. I’m not enjoying anything at the moment. My heart’s not in it — maybe that’s why the to do list seems never ending. I just don’t have the get up and go to actually get up and get it done.

Annywaaay redux. Today I spent some time in the garden. My RRHB laughed when he saw me hauling the bags of composte from the garage. He said, “There’s no way you’re going to be able to move that dirt.” But the sun had worked its magic over the past few days. The top soil was flexible and I did manage to get one part of the vegetable garden turned. Layers of newspaper, more seeds planted (some spinach; we’ll see how it does), and five bags of dirt, compost and clay reducer later, I think we might just have something. Now if I could only convince my neighbour NOT to do our front gardening. Last week he severed my enter lavendar plant simply becuause he didn’t know what it was — didn’t know that it’s meant to overwinter and not be trimmed back to its bare, bare roots. This is the third lavendar plant he’s destroyed. We keep telling him. He keeps laughing. As you can tell, there’s a language barrier.

What a metaphor for my life at the moment, huh?

#18 – The Good Wife

Relentlessly addictive, that’s how I would describe Robert Goolrick’s A Reliable Wife. The manuscript sat on my reader for months. Every time I found myself on page one, I quickly switched back to whatever classic I was currently tackling because I knew if I started I wouldn’t want to stop. I wanted to wait until I had an afternoon of free time (right, phftt) and be able to read the book. Of course, I happened upon an extra long subway ride (what the TTC being delayed and having problems? Yawn.) Of course, I had forgotten my book. Of course, I was uninspired by the two classics I’m currently reading (Dracula; Tess of the D’Ubervilles). S0 I started A Reliable Wife. And. Couldn’t. Stop. Reading.

The novel opens with an older man, described by himself as somewhat past his youth, but rich, so very, very rich. After the deaths of his wife and daughter, and the loss of his errant (and possibly bastard [as in not his]) son, Ralph Truitt stands on the cusp of the new century having written away for a wife. The woman who replied, the beautiful, dishonest, Catherine Land replied, reinventing herself along the way. A tragic accident on the way to the farmhouse puts them both in a precarious situation: Truitt close to death; Catherine entirely dependent upon his kindness once she nurses him back to health. They marry. And an odd, not entirely unromantic relationship develops out of their mutual need. He’s rich; she’s poor. He wants his son back; she’s got a life that needs atonement, and an ulterior motive. As the rest of the novel unravels, these desires push them in different directions, and both Catherine and Pruitt are changed as a result of their union in ways they might not expect. The result is delicious for the reader.

The novel, while a little predictable (I had figured out one of the twists fairly early on), is utterly addictive. It’s also terribly sexy — full of sensual description and rich in terms of the description of physical affection. No one escapes sex in this novel and it makes people act in ways they might not expect. In some cases, sex turns into love, and love is sometimes mistaken for lust — regardless, the book never shies away from the utterly human ways in which the act defines relationships. Goolrick has full, descriptive prose that sometimes feels a little over the top at times, yet it never overpowers the story. Quite the opposite, it pulls you into the characters even further, allows to to invest in them emotionally, which makes the drama of the last third even more interesting. All in all, I couldn’t get enough of this novel.