TRH Movie – Because I Said So

Or “Quite possibly the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life and if I didn’t have to review it I would have walked out of the theatre.”

Okay if you are remotely interested in seeing Because I Said So in the theatres and don’t want to be the least bit spoiled, do not read this post. But if you do go see that movie and decide that it sucks, don’t blame me for not telling. I’m just sayin’.

Yes, the Diane Keaton / Mandy Moore cash grab for the poor suckers on Valentine’s Day who actually convince their men folk to go to see this film are in for a real treat. Because I Said So, which I saw last week for Chart magazine, is truly and abysmally bad. It’s cliches wrapped in forced situations and all tied up in a shrieking bow that made me wince more times than I can count.

Essentially, Keaton plays a single mom facing the wrong side of fifty, who approaches her “big” six-oh with trepidation because her youngest daughter can’t find love. Cue the big sweeping “I am your mother and can’t rest until you are settled” speeched coupled with the “I just don’t want you to turn out like me” sap storm, and you’ve pretty much got the emotional underpinnings of this movie of the week wannabe.

Keaton, playing “Daphne”, decides that Mother Does Indeed Know Best and places a want ad for fellows for “Milly” aka Mandy, a perky, singing chef with a heart of gold and nose for the perfect soufflé. The fellow she finds is a remarkably wealthy, shockingly single schmarmball named Jason who loves polka dots and long walks on the beach. Barf. Of course, as happenstance would have it, Johnny, a guitar-playing musician-slash-teacher with a crazy-ass kid meets Daphne when she’s interviewing potential suitors and wants in on it too. According to Johnny, he’s got a feeling he’d really like Milly (what? come the fark on) and, of course, Daphne thinks nothing of the sort.

What do you think happens? Milly falls in love with both men. Yawn. Cue the “conflict” scenes. As you could probably tell from the trailer, it gets all messy and stuff when she finally, after a good 90 minutes and my ass becoming so sore from boredom that I almost needed a seventh inning stretch, figures out who she wants to be with, and well, let’s suffice to say there’s a happy ending.

I think what I find most offensive about films like this, apparently made by women for women, is that they don’t take women at all seriously. Every single romantic cliche that is so worn down, recycled and ever-so tired is pulled out in this film, shined up, sung out loud (yes, Mandy Moore SINGS in the picture) and then applauded. In a time where polar bears are drowning, and we are wasting more and more of our precious resources on art that will make no difference to the world, I’m even more ashamed that dreck like this is still finding its way onto the big screen.

But maybe that’s the debate for today. Should art just make a difference or is there value in creating mindless entertainment?