#48 – What Was She Thinking (Notes On A Scandal)

Zoë Heller’s totally engrossing novel about a teacher who has an illicit affair with a student and then ends up living with a spinster friend of hers (who narrates/writes the story) was a perfect summer read. I know, again, it’s not on my Summer Reading challenge, but it was given to me by a friend and I wanted to finish it so I could give it back. And just to update, my own Summer Reading has stalled at page 593 of Until I Find You (not that I’m not enjoying it but, please, it’s 820 pages long, I’ve got hundreds and hundreds still to go).

Annnywaaay. What Was She Thinking. I love how Heller choose to tell the story—it’s kind of an old-school narrative in the sense that Sheba’s (said teacher having the affair) life story is told entirely by Barbara, the aging spinster who has saved her from utter desolation. I wish I could remember the name of the narrative convention, but suffice it to say, I found it fascinating that Barbara’s own relationship (read: obsession) with Sheba somewhat echoes the younger woman’s own illicit affair (read: obsession) with 16-year-old Steven. And what’s even more smart, is how echoes of Barbara’s own instability creep into what she feels is the “true” account of Sheba’s actions.

One of my favourite passages, in which Barbara tries to psychoanalyze a fellow teacher, reads:

There are certain people in whom you can detect the seeds of madness—seeds that have remained dormant only because the people in question have lived relatively comfortable, middle-class lives. They function perfectly well in the world, but you can imagine, given a nasty parent, or a prolonged bout of unemployment, how their potential for craziness might have been realised—how their seeds might have sprouted little green shoots of weirdness, or even, with the right sort of antinurture, blossomed into full-blown lunacy.

Barbara might just as well be describing herself, her own quiet, staid middle-class life as a teacher challenged by the unconvincingly, beautiful and deeply troubled Sheba, whose friendship has allowed her own seeds to sprout into a strange kind of voyeur who brings us this story.

Of course, it doesn’t end well, affairs between teachers and students rarely do (unless you’re Pacey), but what’s great about What Was She Thinking is that you never, ever truly know what Sheba was thinking, you only get Barbara’s interpretation of her actions, her words and her affair. All in all, it’s a quick, yet still absolutely satisfying read. Oh, and I think the casting for the movie is totally spot on.